Tuesday, August 30, 2011

An Interview With God

I OFTEN wondered at the pace at which technology has progressed over the years. Humans are actually close to developing one of their own kind. God must be interested!

I met him recently to know his thoughts on human technology breaking new grounds. He sounded, well, like God!

Me: Many thanks for giving me this opportunity to interact with you in person.
God: No problem son!

Me: I see you carrying an iPhone. So God too has preferences!
God: Well I tried Nokia but it seems the company is not keeping up pace with the changing times. It's all about 'touch' and feel. I gave them too many chances. In fact, I bought the iPhone only recently.

Me: You must be kidding me. You bought the phone! I mean you own the universe.
God: Son ever heard of, "practise what you preach!"

Me: Do we see technology taking over in heaven and hell?
God: Well! I don't think we need anything in hell. It's a mess out there and I want it to continue like that. For heaven we are testing a new 4G Network. The angels are not happy flying around any more. They need instant communication.

The next-gen video chat is something that we are looking at.

Me: What about humans? We pioneered the technology. Why are we not getting any any credit in heaven!
God: We have booked a special place in heaven with 8 Mbps connectivity for all those involved with the project. If you are in a hurry to see it in person perhaps I could expedite the process after this interview.

Me: It's ok Father! (with a little discomfort) Your mere acknowledgment is good enough for me. I've heard that you are cloning the angel of death. How true is that story?
God: Technology is my current focus. Of late the efficiency of the angel of death has gone down considerably. I guess he's unable to match the multiplication rate of humans. The guy needs help. I'm looking at multiple angels to share the 'soul' exercise. Cloning is something I'm particularly interested in.

Me: What do you have you to say about the tablet explosion?
God: The rules of the game are changing. I still have doubt about its durability. You also need to carry an additional keyboard which highlight the fact that the traditional full keyboard is not going out any time soon.

Me: People like Bill Gates who were involved with several law suits during their tenure are now involved with large-scale philanthropic activities. What do you've to say about this?
God: I sent my messengers with books to guide people. Unfortunately people today are more connected to their blackberries than my books. When Bill lost a suit he was punished in this world only. When he comes back to me, he will be judged based on his excel sheet of good and bad deeds.

Me: Surely you know everything! Please tell us a little more about the future of technology?
God: I wish I could talk about this. There should be an element of surprise. Don't you think so?

All I can say is 'touch' is going to play a major role.

Me: Do you feel happy with the way technology is bringing people together?
God: Any invention is as good as its usage. It's good to see people remembering each other on special occasions, but at the same there are others who want to share their last few moments on earth. If I want I can turn the whole sky into a giant LCD with every death broadcasted live. I don't want people to die before their actual death.

Me: Google seems to have become a virtual god. It knows almost everything that people want to know. Isn't that an alarming scenario to you?
God: I've seen many gods in the past. Gods in pure flesh and blood! Google depends on several thousand human brains and electric power. It's not even self-sustaining.

It seems funny though that when I googled my name it returned 1.64 billion links and the second one read, "Does God Exist?". Now how intelligent is that!

Me: My final question. Androids are becoming more and more intelligent with every passing day. What if technology creates a real human being one day? Do you see that as a threat to your authority?
God: I can see the future my child. You can master the body not the soul! Where science ends spirituality begins.

Me: Thank you Father for all your insights.
God: Anytime son.

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